New Classes

Well, I have have both of my new classes. A&P II is just like I expected. You know the same type of thing just new information. Jackie, my girlfriend who is taking the class with me was all freaked out about our Lecture teacher. She was afraid she wasn't going to be able to understand her. The only problem I have with the teacher is I think she speaks to softly. I also has my ASL last night. It is Thursday nights at 7 PM to 9:45 PM. I hate being out that late. I as going to try at get into a class on Wed mornings but I kinda like this teacher. That is half the battle.

The ASL class is more learning about the colture. We have to write a 4 page paper. Which I say surprises me. But I think it will be interesting. He said something last night that surprises me. He told us that in different regions of the country some signs are different, its like they have developed a different dialect. I thought that was so strange. I figured it would all need to be standard, but just like we have slang in the speaking world, I guess the same could be said about the deaf world.

Again I am the oldest one in my class, but the people in this class seem like they will be a fun group. Lots of people for education in this class. So I might just end up staying. That's about it!!!

I don't have a lot of debt

I have only one credit card, but I want to pay it off and not have to worry about it. Craig saves money so easily, but saving money has always been hard for me to do. When I want something, I want it now. It’s not like I am spending like crazy, but I am not a real patient person. And this credit card has become a bone of contention in my marriage. He wants to know the balance and I won’t tell him because I don’t want to hear him bitch.

Paying it off would be the best thing.

See more progress on: pay off my credit card

I have signed up for an ASL class

The sign language class starts on Thursday. I am excited about taking the class but it is from 7 pm to 9:45 pm. This is usually the time where my brain goes dead! But I have always wanted to learn ASL and think that it will help in my nursing career. So I bite the bullet for 15 weeks.

I think I will teach the girls as well.

See more progress on: learn sign language

Why is it so hard?

I know it is bad for you and I have tried many times, but why can’t I kick the habbit? I think I should call the doctor and see what he can do for me. I just want to be around for my kids. I don’t want to die of cancer if I can help it.

See more progress on: Quit Smoking

Marriage

Craig and I had a talk yesterday, it didn't start off real well, but in the end I think it was good! He called me in the morning while I was at work. I was on the phone with a patient and my cell phone rings twice, one right after the other. He finally calls on the private line asking for me. I get on the phone and he starts asking about some entries in the check book that I put. I tell him what they are and he starts yelling at me that it's not explained in there. I asked him if we could talk about this later, but he says no. Now I just get angry. I tell him that I refuse to talk to him about this right now, that I am at work and I will call him back later, but that I am hanging up. He didn't like that too much but said bye and hung up.

I don't like it when he does stuff like that and he has done it before. I am sitting there fuming, so I get up, go outside and call him on my cell phone. I told him that what he did was not cool. He comes back with "Well I'm not a cool person" Anyway, we start to talk and it comes out through all of this that he doesn't trust me, he thinks I am leaving when I get my RN. We started to talk then, but I was at work. I asked if we could continue the conversation when I came home.

We did talk, and it saddens me that he feels like I will leave. I know that I thought about that in the past, but I really want my marriage to work. But for it to work we have work at it. I asked him yesterday if I never changed, if I was the same messy, overweight, lazy person for the rest of my life, would he be able to love me just for who I am. He never said yes or no, just kind of avoided the question. Now I could read into that what I wanted to. I could say that he doesn't love me, and maybe he is just waiting for me to get my RN so I can support myself and the girls before he leaves me, I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like he expects me to change but doesn't feel like he needs to change at all. I told him last night that when ever we talk and I say something he always has some way to negate what I just said, it makes me feel like that he thinks no matter what I am ALWAYS wrong. That's a hard way to live.

I did tell him that I would like for US to go to Texas, and that I thought life would be better for US there, eaiser. But if we never go then we never go. It is important for me for him to see that it isn't all about my mom and dad. I want what is best for my family and if that means staying in Jersey, then I am willing to do that. I think he is comming to realize that. We will see.

Where I Work

My girlfriend Dana brought in her digital camera the other day and I took a couple of pictures of my desk at work to share. Now I schedule the surgeries with the hospital for the doctor that I work for; I also call the insurance companies find out if any type of precert is needed for the surgery and all of that. Things can get kind of hectic and messy. That's just me! But here's where I work.



Here's another one.

Just catching up a little

School will be starting back up for me next week. I have to say that I have enjoyed my time off and I am not really looking forward to going back. It just seems like I have been doing this forever and I won't ever get done. But I will keep plugging away at it. Who cares if I am 40 and just got my RN!

Sarah's Birthday was the other day, she got the new iPod Nano from us and my mom and dad. She loves it!! She walks around the house or wherever we are with it on and singing and dancing. Faith had a meltdown when Sarah opened it! We had to send Faith to the other room where she continued to cry only louder. She said through her sobs, "I know I'm not going to get one now since Sarah got one, because the cost to much money." It was just so disapointing to me how much she carried on. All the while I had planned on getting her one for her birthday which is in 3 weeks. She will be happy, but I just wish that Faith could be happy for Sarah instead of making it all about her.

After a year and 4 months we talked

After a year and something like 4 months my neice and I have finally talked. I couldn't believe it when she IM'd me the other night. We chit chatted for a while on the computer and talked about what is going on in our lives. She is in Texas and had a new job that she loves. She told me about possibly going to England to visit a "friend" with the possiblity of moving there if things go well.

I have to say that not talking to her for so long was hard for me. She was not only my niece but my friend. We shared everything, I love her and was deeply hurt when she stopped talking to me. I asked her why she stopped talking to me because I truly had no idea as to why it happend. She told me that she was hurt by my not telling Craig that I was hanging out with her. I didn't do that all the times that I didn't tell him was only because I was tired of hearing all the negative things from him. I did apoligize and she did too.

It will be intersting to see how our relationship will be now. I hope that we can still be close, she makes me laugh and she is family.

Am I a Bad Mother If....

Faith has been complaining about her throat, and Craig took both girls to the doctor on the 19th. Sarah was diagnosed with a sinus infection and they tested Faith for strep, which came back negative. The perscribed antibiotics for Sarah but sent nothiing home with Faith since it was just the beginnings of a cold. Now over Christmas both Craig and I got sick. Thankfully the girls were off the week of Christmas so I got to stay home and recoup.

Yesterday I come home and Faith is complaining that her throat hurts as a single tear slides down her cheek. So I call the doctor and they tell me to come right over. I bring her in and they do another strep test, but it comes back negative again. They don't give her anything for it and send us on our merry way. She did have a slight fever of 100. So when we get home I give her some Motrin and some night time cold medicine.

This morning I have to get up at O'dark thirty because Sarah has a field trip to "the Moon" and she has to be at school at 6:30 am, did I mention that I have no heat in the car??? It was freakin cold, 15 degrees this morning. Anyway, I come home take Faith's tempreture and it's normal however she is still complaining of her throat hurting. I make her some tea and she refuses to drink it.

I called my boss lastnight just to give her a heads up about the possiblity of me not being there, needless to say she wasn't to happy. She apparently had an intestional virus the day before and she still came into work. I also tried calling a friend who I thought was off of work today but she never called me back. So I am sending Faith to school. Remember she has no fever, just a sore throat, does that make me a bad mother??

I hate feeling like I am choosing my job over my child and right now I kinda feel like that. It is the only day of the week that completely sucks if I take off. We are short handed as it is and they have already paid for the day. I told Faith if she doesn't feel well by 12, to go to the nurses office and call me.

I still feel like doo-doo.