Broken and Bruised

Does he know what his words do to me? He must not know what it does, how they play over and over in my head. Not all the time, but at times like these. Does he know how painful those are to relive? I don't understand why? Does he know what it is like to get rejected over and over and over again? How much courage it takes for me to return once again and get still be rebuffed? How can he possibly think that it is okay to say those things. I don't care if they are true, but I just got done telling you that I needed to feel wanted and then you go and make me feel even worse then I already do.

It is amazing to me how you can sleep. More so, that after I leave in tears you have the where with all to get out of bed and close the door to make sure that you are not disturbed when I come home with our daughter. Do you not care that I am hurting. That the tears continue to fall, do you not care that my heart is sore and battered...that my soul is heavy with sorrow? Do I matter to you at all???????

You say you love me, but do you love me like a husband should love his wife? Or am I just a companion that you are fond of? Am I comfortable for you like an old lumpy chair? Why must your words hurt so much?! Sometimes I feel like I am beating my head against a wall. Always the same arguements, always I must change. I am tired of it, I am tired of being the one to pour out myself completetly and be asked for more. I am so tired of not feeling good enough