Heart and Miles

Why do some take family for granted? I have lived the majority of my life away from my family. In my teen years I chose to run away for months at a time because I didn't feel like my family understood me or didn't really care. As I have gotten older I realize that I really enjoy being around my family and I want them to know that they are an important part of my life.

Just recently my niece visited New Jersey for her friends wedding and we got to hang out for a couple of hours. Now we had been estranged for about a year and a half over a misunderstanding and it was nice to see her again. I do have to say that it was a little awkward which is a shame since we were so close for so long. We had a special kind of relationship as we both were growing up and as she got older I wanted to help in anyway I could. She has always held a special place in my heart. There have been times that I have cried because we laugh so hard when we are together. I miss that!! Here's a picture of the two of us when she was last out.

Jasmine has a great personality and she is one of the most beautiful people I know. However, I am jealous of her and her mother living so close to my mom and dad and not appreciating that fact. For whatever reason, my sister seems to not want a relationship with my mother and father but it has been them who have helped her so much along the way. I was told that she didn't even want to spend Mother's Day with my mom! That burns me up!!! As I get older, so do my parents and the reality of their mortality hits me more and more and I can't understand why my family in Texas doesn't want to spend more time with their loved ones. I believe there will be many regrets for them.

I know that we, as human beings tend to take for granted those things that are with us all the time, but I feel like I have a different perspective on family then most. I long for that sense of family here and I look for it in those that are in my church, but I have yet to find it. That alone saddens me. I was brought up in the church and the church that I attend now talks of wanting to live out the Acts 2 church, but we don't. Many people here have been born here or grown up here and have family so their need is not as great as mine and it is hard to find people that both Craig and I can be close too. So I keep searching with the hope that one day, I will be close to my family not only in heart but in miles as well.