Blue Skies

The girls are off this week and I have been wanting to paint Sarah's room for some time now. But I hate to paint, and I really hate to paint by myself. So I asked my friend Katinka (who likes to paint) if she would mind coming by and helping me. So between her schedule and mine (I still have classes) we picked yesterday. She came about 8:30 am with all the rollers and trimmers and I had the paint. We painted the walls within a couple of hours and it looks fantastic!! I forgot to get before pictures but here are a couple of after.

The pictures don't do it justice, the color is a little darker then what it looks like in the picture. It's called summer blue and it looks so much better then those old ugly white walls, that weren't white so much any more (LOL). I still have to paint the trim and I also want to do a wide green strip about 3/4 of the way up the wall, just to give it some pizazz! I also want to get her a new comforter and sheets. Faith's room will be next! I don't think she has decided on a color that is okay with me yet. She wants a color called Hot Lips, a very dark pink. I just can't do that!! It is amazing what a little color on the walls will do to a room.

I hope she is okay

Criag, Sarah and I were sitting around the dinner table tonight and Sarah was talking about a child in the nursery today (she was helping out). This was a child who had Downs Syndrome and that led to us talking about her Turner's Syndrome. Craig had mentioned how in the scheme of things, Sarah's TS is hardly noticeable. She had questions about some of the characteristics of girls with TS. I had my laptop open so we searched the web and saw some pictures as well as reading a post from a woman who is now 50 years old and found out she had Turners when she was 16 years old.

Sarah left after we read the post. I often wonder what she thinks about when that subject comes up. She seems to be fine with it and that's great, but I hope that she knows that it is okay to not feel not alright. I had a meeting with her teachers last week and one of the guidance counselors were there and said that there was another girl in school who also has TS. She is going to contact the mom and see if she would be alright with talking to me and maybe having the girls meet. I think that would be great! Sometimes I think that Sarah feels very isolated when it comes to that. I am also going to try and get some information in the TS Society here in NJ. I think it will be beneficial to Sarah now that she is a little older. I know it sounds kind of selfish, but I think I have put this off because it will be just another thing that I have to do. But I guess it is something I have to do...... for Sarah. I want her to grow up to be well adjusted and feeling okay about herself, its something I don't think that I felt and it led me to all sorts of bad places.

Just catching up a little

School will be starting back up for me next week. I have to say that I have enjoyed my time off and I am not really looking forward to going back. It just seems like I have been doing this forever and I won't ever get done. But I will keep plugging away at it. Who cares if I am 40 and just got my RN!

Sarah's Birthday was the other day, she got the new iPod Nano from us and my mom and dad. She loves it!! She walks around the house or wherever we are with it on and singing and dancing. Faith had a meltdown when Sarah opened it! We had to send Faith to the other room where she continued to cry only louder. She said through her sobs, "I know I'm not going to get one now since Sarah got one, because the cost to much money." It was just so disapointing to me how much she carried on. All the while I had planned on getting her one for her birthday which is in 3 weeks. She will be happy, but I just wish that Faith could be happy for Sarah instead of making it all about her.

My Afternoon Rant (A Continuation)

Call me a nervous mother. I never thought I would be.....

I take off early from work; Craig won't be able to get the girls. On my way home I call my neighbor I want to see how her son is doing after surgery and see if she could get Faith off of the bus so I can kinda watch out for Sarah like I did this morning.

I go to Sarah's school; I know she can't leave until the buses have left. Only one has left and it's about 5 min until Faith will be getting off of the bus at our house, I leave to come back home to scoop Faith off of the bus and go look out for Sarah.

"Come on," I yell over the sound of the bus.

FAITH: Where are we going?

ME: To watch out for Sarah

FAITH: She's already here.

ME: What? looking around

FAITH: Look here she comes!

And there's Sarah, on her bike with a new confidence. It did my heart good.

Screw You, Ride On

I know that the title of this is a little off, but that is how I felt today watching Sarah ride her bike to school the first time. She wanted to ride so bad and no one wanted to ride with her for whatever reasons, little girls are mean. So all this week she rode her bike with her dad to see how she would do. She has barely ridden her bike around the house and now she has to cross a major intersection, and people in cars don't watch.

I woke up and Sarah was already dressed, Faith was sleeping with me in my bed. She crawled in there sometime last night. I asked Sarah something about the bus and she told, "I'm on my bike going to school." OH!

Earlier this week Craig rode with her and she had said that he made her nervous. I tried to instill confidence in her. She was aware that she needed more practice. I told her that she should ride with her dad a few times and maybe on Thursday she could ride her bike. Craig worked late last night and she really wanted to go, but was afraid to ask him for some reason. When she finally did, he told her it was to late. So needless to say I was NERVOUS.

But she rode her bike to the bus stop, showing everyone that she was riding her bike, by herself. She didn't know I was following her and she saw a mother of one of the children that rides her bus and she waved, but wasn't looking where she was going and ran into a bush. Fell right on top of her bike. I have to say I truly did laugh out loud. I wanted to see if she was okay, but she picked up her bike and got back on it and continued to ride on. I was sooo proud of her. I thought maybe she would be more embarrassed if she knew I had seen her fall.

So I continued on, drove ahead of her and turned around. I managed to be at the light when she was going to cross that busy intersection. She came up to it, got off of her bike, looked both ways, and crossed the intersection. She did great, and I told her! I continued to watch her but she didn't see me. I watched her until she turned onto the block that her school was on.

As I was coming home I saw the group of kids, that Sarah wanted to ride with. I would be lying if I didn't say I just wanted to plow 'em down. Then I thought to myself, no, let them pull up at school and see Sarah at the bike rack, locking her bike and going into the school, knowing that she rode her bike all the way to school all by herself.

Ride on Sarah!

Emotional Roller Coaster

Yesterday, I came home from work and went to get the girls at the bus stop. Sarah who usually comes off the bus not in the best of moods, came off swinging her backpack and she says to me.

"Mommy, I have the most fantasic recess today!" I'm asking myself what could have happend that would make her so bouncy? She then proceeded to tell me the story. She apparently was swinging and somone wanted the swing that another little boy (Terrence) wanted. So Terrence gave up his swing and went over to one that was empty next to Sarah. He started talking to her, "You know Sarah, when I act like I don't like you I am just pretending. I have always had a crush on you. Do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend again.

She of course said yes! Faith then chimes in, "Yeah, now we both have boyfriends!" LOL

Then today, just like we had an extreme high, we had an extreme low! Sarah is allowed to ride her bike to school as of this week. We live a ways away and I really wanted Sarah to ride with some other kids. I asked her if she knew of anyone who lived close to us that was going to ride their bike. She told me the Molly, a classmate, was riding her bike. I called the mom and left a message yesterday. Molly's mom called me today and told me that Molly didn't want to ride with Sarah. Lee, Molly's mom, said there have been incidents between Sarah and Molly that she is saying, were unprovoked.

Now I know that Sarah isn't the easiest person to get along with, but I also know that since she is her own person, it has left her an easy target for being teased. Which she does not take well. But as I was telling this to Sarah, big tears welled up in her eyes, and I just wanted to smack that little girl who hurt my child's feelings. Sarah so wants friends, to be accepted and liked.

Why are kids so mean? I told Sarah that she is her own person and she should be proud of that. But does a 10 year old understand that? I hope so. My heart was breaking when I was talking to her. I pray that she finds GOOD friends who like her for who she is, someone who is genuine, kind, caring and loving.

Sarah Starts Growth Hormone

My oldest daughter Sarah has Turner's Syndrome . She hasn't fallen off of the growth chart yet, but she is holding on by a thread. Now what is great about that, is that most girls her age (10 years old) who have Turners haven't been on the growth chart for a while. So my hope is that with this treatment, she will be at least 5'2.

Yesterday was our appointment to meet with the rep from Lilly to show us how to mix and administer the growth hormone, Humatrope, to Sarah. She was very excited and nervous at the same time. I was watching Julia, since all the girls are off from school, so whole brood came with me.

It was kinda intimidating. She showed me how to mix the medicine, there's all these steps, then you have to let it sit for 3 min. and if you see bubbles then that is fine, but if you see dandruff like flakes in it, set it down for another 5 min and check it again. If the flakes are still there then call Lilly. No flakes, then it's fine to use.

Felecia (Lilly Rep) was very nice. When it came time for the shot, Felicia asked if Sarah wanted to give herself the shot or have me do it, she opted for me doing it. So we asked where she wanted the shot, Sarah decided she wanted it done in her leg. So I go to give her the shot and she pulls away and tells me she doesn't want to do it anymore. I asked if she remembered wanting to jump off of the diving board at the pool and how she agonized over jumping in; then I asked her if she remembered how she felt after she jumped the first time? Trying to show here, that it's just the fear of the unknown. Felicia even bet her a dollar that it would not hurt. She told her that each patient she taught she bet a dollar and she hadn't lost a bet yet. Well after some coddling and a little bit of bullying I finally got it done. With tears in her eyes after I had given her the shot, Felicia asked her if she owed Sarah the dollar and Sarah tearfully said no.

As we were leaving Sarah said she wanted to give herself the shot the following day, but she hasn't done it. But she will, eventually. I just can't wait to see her grow, and be closer to kids her age in height.