Emotional Roller Coaster

Yesterday, I came home from work and went to get the girls at the bus stop. Sarah who usually comes off the bus not in the best of moods, came off swinging her backpack and she says to me.

"Mommy, I have the most fantasic recess today!" I'm asking myself what could have happend that would make her so bouncy? She then proceeded to tell me the story. She apparently was swinging and somone wanted the swing that another little boy (Terrence) wanted. So Terrence gave up his swing and went over to one that was empty next to Sarah. He started talking to her, "You know Sarah, when I act like I don't like you I am just pretending. I have always had a crush on you. Do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend again.

She of course said yes! Faith then chimes in, "Yeah, now we both have boyfriends!" LOL

Then today, just like we had an extreme high, we had an extreme low! Sarah is allowed to ride her bike to school as of this week. We live a ways away and I really wanted Sarah to ride with some other kids. I asked her if she knew of anyone who lived close to us that was going to ride their bike. She told me the Molly, a classmate, was riding her bike. I called the mom and left a message yesterday. Molly's mom called me today and told me that Molly didn't want to ride with Sarah. Lee, Molly's mom, said there have been incidents between Sarah and Molly that she is saying, were unprovoked.

Now I know that Sarah isn't the easiest person to get along with, but I also know that since she is her own person, it has left her an easy target for being teased. Which she does not take well. But as I was telling this to Sarah, big tears welled up in her eyes, and I just wanted to smack that little girl who hurt my child's feelings. Sarah so wants friends, to be accepted and liked.

Why are kids so mean? I told Sarah that she is her own person and she should be proud of that. But does a 10 year old understand that? I hope so. My heart was breaking when I was talking to her. I pray that she finds GOOD friends who like her for who she is, someone who is genuine, kind, caring and loving.

Have you ever wondered?

If you are married, have you wondered if your spouse truly loves you? I mean deep down in the marrow of their bones Loves you. I wonder sometimes if he loves me like that. I know that he would be sad if something where to happen to me, or if we ever broke up, but would he be heartbroken over loosing ME?

Do I show him how much he means to me? Does he Know that I love him with all that is in me? Is that enough for him, is there more that I can do? Do I treat him as insignificant? I don't think so, I may not tell him enough that I appreciate all that he does, but I do feel like I am more vocal about my appreciation of him then he is of me.

I just want so much more from our marriage. More communication, more laughter, more joy, more ease of spirit, more gentleness, more kindness, more respect.

Do I expect or want to much?

Do you ever wonder if there is a thing as true love? Or is it just true enough?

2 Peas Challange-What is your favorite show?

Now that's a little tough. There are several that I hate to miss and can't wait to watch. Lost is one of my favs, Jericho is another and finally Hero's. Those 3 shows I can't miss. I was taking a class last semester on Mon and Wednesday nights. I went out and got a DVR just so I could record them. Craig I know thinks I watch too much TV and maybe I do, but it's usually after everyone has gone to bed and I can just sit down and relax.

Easter Traditions

I know that this is a little late, I mean Easter was last weekend, but I loved how the eggs came out that the girls did. I waited until the last minute to dye eggs and when I went to the store all the kits were gone. Well I knew there had to be a way, so I came home and looked on the Internet (Love the Internet for things like this) and found a recipe if you will. Food coloring, water and vinegar. Sarah did two tone eggs, I really liked how hers came out. Faith let them stay in longer so the hues are much darker, richer more vibrant looking. I always hated the process of coloring eggs, but I actually enjoyed it this year.

You want to see a picture of our dogs? I've been meaning to add these pictures, but haven't gotten around to is. The little puff ball in Lucy she is a Pomeranian. She looks pretty pathetic here. I think it was raining out and one of the girls took a picture of her with my camera. For those who don't know Lucy, we have had her since she was a puppy she is now 5 years old. She loves to lick your feet and barks at anything that crosses her path, or anything she thinks crosses her path. No we recently got a new dog. I have been wanting a dog, but I wanted a big dog. Friends of ours are foster parents for the SPCA and they had a puppy that was taken from its owner, they named her Hope and she was a pit mix, all white with these great green eyes, but they would let me have her since we had such a small dog. Oh Well! So our neighbor's sister needed to find a home for her dog. It is a Miniature Sheltie (Dale)
He is really cute, he was very and still sometimes is skittish, but he is a lover. He loves to play ball! I have never had a dog that loves to play catch, but he does. Sometimes at night when I am about to get in bed, if he has already laid down with Criag, he runs up to the head of the bed and plops down where I lay down and won't move. So I laid my head on him, and he didn't seem to care. I finally got him to move but I have never seen anything like it. He's a good boy though.

Why is Raising Kids So Hard?

Today I had class and Craig was off from work so he was home with the girls. I came home early since one of my classes was canceled. Some of their friends came over to play, after they went home our neighbor came over and Craig asked if Faith and her daughter had asked her if it was alright for Julia (friend) had asked if they could go around the block to the lake. Well to make a long story short, they had not, but said they had and that the mother had said yes. Now this is not the first time that Faith has lied and no matter what we do, she continues to do it. She was crying like crazy and I went in their to talk to her. She had sent Sarah out with picture that she had drew for Craig. She knew she was in trouble!

I have to say, she takes after me in that respect. Now don't get me wrong, I'm NOT a pathological liar. I lie sometimes just to avoid confrontation, i.e. how much money I spent etc. I know its stupid, and I am consciously working on trying not to do that, just to face the music as it comes and if it pisses Craig off, oh well.

I have tried to tell her that if she is honest with us, that she will get in less trouble then if she lies. I just wish that she would realize that she can come to us with anything! I hope she knows that. UGHHH, why isn't there a manual?

I have asked all my friends who have good kids, kids who are responsible, kind, and who like to talk to their parents what the secret is, for some reason they refuse to give it to me. Like it the recipe for Bush's Baked Beans. LOL I think that my girls will come out alright. I just hate to see them in trouble, with tears in their eyes.

20 Activities that Light Up My Soul

Another 2 Peas Challenge

1. Hearing my husband and kids laugh
2. Quiet time after all have gone to bed
3. Sitting in the backyard reading a book with a nice warm soft breeze
4. Hearing the birds chirp, tell-tell signs of Spring
5. Reading a really good book
6. Visiting family
7. Shopping (which I rarely do)
8. Singing
9. Listening to and seeing the waves crash on the beach
10. Receiving a letter or a package in the mail
11. A good grade on a test
12. Hearing I love you from my kids and husband for no reason
13. Driving in the country
14. Traveling anywhere
15. Having dinner with a friend
16. A good song
17. The smell of the cold night air when I am snuggled in my bed
18. The beauty of the clean snow and how it lights up the night
19. The color of the leaves in the fall
20. Seeing an act of kindness being done

Vacation

My dad called me yesterday about plans for our vacation. He needed to know about what we wanted to do about boat rentals. I had sat down to study but then I got on the Internet to do some research on boat rentals around Lake Texoma (this is the lake that is on the border of Oklahoma and Texas). I found the cheapest boat rental that I could find at Big Mineral Resort, Marina and Campground.

The cost for a boat that Craig can fish with was $400 for the weekend. I also rented a tube, I thought it would be fun for the girls and I to be pulled on the tube, might as well all have fun right?! Mom and dad are going to go up today to check out the place. I reserved a 3 bedroom "cabin", which turns out to be a trailer (LOL). Dad told me this morning that his friend said he would loan him his pop up, since my Aunt and Uncle weren't able to loan us their RV. I say lets use the pop up and a tent and save about $250.

I can't wait to hear from mom and dad what the place looks like. I just know that we are all going to have a great time. See this is what I love, hanging out with family, laughing and just enjoying each others company. May won't get here soon enough for me!

Sarah Starts Growth Hormone

My oldest daughter Sarah has Turner's Syndrome . She hasn't fallen off of the growth chart yet, but she is holding on by a thread. Now what is great about that, is that most girls her age (10 years old) who have Turners haven't been on the growth chart for a while. So my hope is that with this treatment, she will be at least 5'2.

Yesterday was our appointment to meet with the rep from Lilly to show us how to mix and administer the growth hormone, Humatrope, to Sarah. She was very excited and nervous at the same time. I was watching Julia, since all the girls are off from school, so whole brood came with me.

It was kinda intimidating. She showed me how to mix the medicine, there's all these steps, then you have to let it sit for 3 min. and if you see bubbles then that is fine, but if you see dandruff like flakes in it, set it down for another 5 min and check it again. If the flakes are still there then call Lilly. No flakes, then it's fine to use.

Felecia (Lilly Rep) was very nice. When it came time for the shot, Felicia asked if Sarah wanted to give herself the shot or have me do it, she opted for me doing it. So we asked where she wanted the shot, Sarah decided she wanted it done in her leg. So I go to give her the shot and she pulls away and tells me she doesn't want to do it anymore. I asked if she remembered wanting to jump off of the diving board at the pool and how she agonized over jumping in; then I asked her if she remembered how she felt after she jumped the first time? Trying to show here, that it's just the fear of the unknown. Felicia even bet her a dollar that it would not hurt. She told her that each patient she taught she bet a dollar and she hadn't lost a bet yet. Well after some coddling and a little bit of bullying I finally got it done. With tears in her eyes after I had given her the shot, Felicia asked her if she owed Sarah the dollar and Sarah tearfully said no.

As we were leaving Sarah said she wanted to give herself the shot the following day, but she hasn't done it. But she will, eventually. I just can't wait to see her grow, and be closer to kids her age in height.