Merry Christmas!

Well we woke up at 7:30 am this morning. I had made Monkey bread last night and put it in the fridge, so when the girls woke up all they had to do was put it in the oven. So we made coffee and started to open presents. The girls were excited about what we got them. We bought the Wii and the game Rock Band II with the money that my mom and dad sent. They were very surprised. Sarah said she would never expected it. And that was my goal. I wanted them to be surprised.

We went to my sister in law's house and had Christmas up there and had a great meal. (Pretty much any meal I don't have to cook is great, LOL) then opened presents, hung out for a while and then came home. The girls immediately started to play Rock Band so it seems to have been a good present to get. I am soooo glad, I was really worried about Faith being disappointed that she didn't get her Uggs.

I bought Craig a nice comfy rob and a shirt, he was complaining that the only shirts he had were Pepsi t-shirts.

OOOH, didn't realize how much bed head he had. HEEHEE

Counceling

Last night Craig and I went to our first session with our pastor concerning the state of our marriage. Things have not been well with us for quite some time. It seems to me that we would get to such a bad place that I could no longer stand it and when I would finally say something we would try to be better and we would for a little while. Lately however, I have found that I am tired of this tiresome cycle that we go through. Vince has been doing a 6 week series about the Sermon on the Mount and I have to say that they have really touched a cord deep within me.

Anyway, Vince asked us what we imagined marriage being about when we got married. I kept my mouth shut (on purpose I might add) because I really wanted Craig to begin. I don't have a problem talking but it just seems like I always take the lead. He started off good but then got into some of the things that I apparently do that disappoint him, and Vince stopped him.

In the end, Vince said that we were both broken. This I knew, but he wants us to look for the broken places so that we can work on those. I have to say that I didn't expect Vince to talk as much as he did, and I have no idea as to what will happen in these sessions, but I hope that we will come out of it in a better place then we are now.

A busy weekend

We had a busy weekend but lots of fun was had!! Sat. morning I had to get Faith to pictures for her soccer team then to her game. They tied, it was a good game; Faith assisted on a goal but it didn't count (still not sure of all the soccer rules). Anyway, like I said they tied, at least they didn't loose, and the team they played had some good players on it. Thankfully, Faith's earrings have gone back in after the game. This last time was real easy. Then we came home and I made a birthday card for a friend of ours.

His name is Rob and he is Craig's BFF (LOL). We were going over there later for dinner. It was his birthday so we brought his favorites! Cheesecake and Breyer's Vanilla Fudge Swirl. We got to his house about 5 pm, had some fun and got home around 10:30. Then we had to get up on Sunday to get to practice at church by 8 am. Went to church and then came home, studied for a couple of hours and then went to the neighborhood block party! Here are some pics....

This isn't the best quality photo, but come on she was jumping on a pogo stick!

Connor, Amy's son was a volunteer magician! He's not afraid of being in front of people! He was really cute. Later on they had a talent show. Sarah was the first one to sign up. She sang a Hannah Montana song, if I head my head on straight I would have remembered that I can do video too! I could had a little piece to show you. I was really proud of her, she got up there and belted it out and sound good! And I don't just say that because she is my daughter. LOL!

I finally met, Rocco and Michael. They are the gentleman that bought our friends house down the street from us. They moved it a year ago in August and I have never met them. Isn't that horrible!! Anyways, they were very nice and I have to say that I am dying to see what they have done with the house. They have a cute little dog...her name is Pepper. Rocco wants more dogs, but Michael thinks that one is enough! But isn't she a cutie??

Gabby came with us to the block party, we brought her home from church. She said she needed to be home by 5 pm. I called Katinka and told her I would bring her home between 5 & 6 pm. Well shortly before 6 pm I gathered up Amy and Gab. The girls wanted to come with us, but I didn't have enough room in the car. Little did I know that Gab wanted to be home by 5 pm because I was the guest of honor at a Surprise Party! I felt bad then for not bringing the girls, I know they wanted to see my face! It was so beautifully decorated with my favorite colors and they all wore these beaded necklaces also in my favorite colors (blue & green). And they would take their necklace off and when they put it around my head, they said something nice to me. My one disappointment with it was that Craig was not there and did not participate in my celebration planning. Otherwise it was a very busy weekend and I didn't get hardly any studying done. So that is what I am going to do now. I will try and post the card I made for Rob a little later.

It is September, school has started

School has started for the girls and tomorrow I have my first class. Microbiology! Hopefully it will be more like Biology then Anatomy & Physiology! I did much better in Bio then A&P. One step closer to my goal. Sarah was excited about school starting, Faith not so much. But I think both of them are ready for a change. There is only so much not doing anything a person can stand.

I don't know what happened to this post, I never posted it, so I will continue on! School HAS started for me I like the teacher, not so much my Lab Assistant Maria! When I was taking biology, she took over for my lab assistant to found a different job. Wasn't crazy about her then, and not crazy about her now!!

The girls are getting into the groove of school. Faith of course hates homework and so does Sarah at times. I guess we all did!!! Doing homework with them sometimes is painful! I was helping Faith with her homework last night as well as trying to study myself but it just seemed like every 3 min. she would ask me a question. So around 8 pm when she asked me another question I just closed my books and helped her. I don't really like studding past 9 pm if I can help it. It just doesn't seem like anything sticks, 9 PM is the witching hour for me. Plus, I get to watch my shows, LOL!! A girls has to have some down time!!!!!!!

Faith is learning how to play the trumpet, she wanted to clarinet, but there were none left at school for her to borrow, so she is doing the trumpet with a friend. Here's a video of her the day she brought it home!

Alright peeps, finally got the video uploaded to Blogger! Leave me a comment, let me know that someone is out there!! LOL

Vacaton and other stuff

Tomorrow my mom and dad come in from Texas!!! I am so excited; Saturday we will leave and go to Beach Lake, PA to Dellwood Acres. I have been there a few times before, but Craig makes the trip a couple of times a year. It is a very family orientated place, it has a pool, tennis courts, horseshoe pit, a little miniature bowling alley, ping pong table, paddle boats and a bigger lake that Craig puts his little boat into, to fish. I anticipate alot of relaxing and laughing!!

School starts for all of us soon! Sarah will begin 6th grade and Faith is going to 5th. I can't believe it! They are growing up soooo fast. Where did my little toddler girls go? Now I get to deal with the attitude of adolescence. JOY!!! Maybe I will ship them off to grandma and grandpa!! LOL.

Here's Sarah on the hammock with Lucy and Dale around her! This was at the beginning of the summer can you believe that summer is already coming to an end???

I don't know what the heck Faith was doing, but I do know that we were coming back from the pool. I love the look on Sarah's face in the background!

Italian Festival

I know it has been so long since I have blogged!!! Sorry, I have just been getting into making cards, it is my new creative outlet. I figured however that all I was doing is posting cards that I had made on here and some of you may not be that interested so I started another blog strictly for my creations. If you are interested in looking at them you can find them HERE. Anyway on to the Italian Festival.

Last month Craig and I both did the clown thing at the Monmouth County Fair (there aren't any pictures of us, just wanted you guys to get an idea). Anyway we told the girls that we would take them to the fair on Sunday after we did the show with Vince. Well that go rained out, so we told them we would go to the Italian Festival. So Craig and I made sure to save $50 from each of our checks. Now if you know me, that is hard!! When I have money, I can think of all kinds of things I want to spend it on. Anyway, we went last night. And do you have any idea how fast we blew through $100??? We bought a kabob & Lemonade for Faith, a cheesteak for me (wasn't that good) and $20 worth of tickets so they could go on the rides and had like $40 bucks left! I was blown away.

Anyway when we go there they were doing 50/50's which they did every hour. I told Craig to play because he is one lucky S. 0. B. If you know what I mean. He said he didn't feel lucky and didn't want to play well when I was on line for my not so good cheesesteak, I guess he got the lucky feeling because he bought $5 worth of tickets. We were over by the rides when Craig looks at his watch because they were drawing the ticket at 8:00 and tells me he is going to go over to hear the number. They call out the number and I say to myself, I bet you he won. He comes back to where we are all smiles and tells me that sure enough he did win. He won $350!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!! I told you he was lucky. I said to him, "We are going to split that right?!" And he said, "No I bought the tickets." To which I responded "yes out of the money we pooled." So we had a great time at the fair, not having to worry about running out of money which was nice for once. And after we came home I had $150!!

SSHHHHH, don't tell the girls

A couple of weeks ago, we inherited a hamster from our neighbor who was moving back to California. We had watched Hammy for a couple of weeks when they would go on vacation and knowing how much the girls loved Hammy they wanted to know if we wanted him. Of course the girls begged us and after agreeing that they would clean the cage once a week and take turns doing it we said okay.

All was going well, although they sure didn't play with him as much as they did when we were just hamster-sitting but we knew that would happen. Anyway today we had a couple of the girls friends come over and play and of course the hamster was taken out and played with, it peed on Faith's bed, and crapped on Sarah's hand! LOL!! Lucy also loves the hamster. She takes every chance she can to say hello up close and personal.

Well tonight Craig is going to bed so I am on my way back to our bedroom to change in to my jammies and I see something on the floor. YEP, you guessed it, HAMMY. I am assuming the girls didn't close the cage all the way and he got out and Lucy finally go to say "hello to her little friend!" Now she didn't hurt it, there were no puncture wounds or blood, I think she just scared it to death. I was definitely in her mouth, but again no wounds. So I called Craig and made him get rid of it before the girls saw it. I feel sooooo bad! We have decided to tell the girls that Hammy has gotten out and we need to keep a look out for him, and when they never find him they will think he got away. Needless to say we will be having no more hamsters.

I just hope Kaitlyn doesn't call and ask about him!!!

Another Card

I got a call from work yesterday (I work for a Pedi. Surgeon) telling me that we would be down another person on Thursday. We see patients only one day a week so it is a heck of a day. Anyway, my co-worker may not be there because her mother (who is 92) is very ill. She has had cancer and has taken a turn for the worse, so I figured I would make another sympathy card. I have to say I really like the way it came out.

Details:
Image: Flower is SU (I don't know the name, I used a stamp from my SU demo as I don't have any yet), Sentiment is Inkadinkado
Copics: R32, R30, R05, G24
Ink: Brillance Black Ink
Card Stock: Bazill

Summer Life!

Not much is going on here besides the normal everyday, summer stuff. I am going to take the girls to the pool today (I don't really want to go!) but this way I can take tomorrow off from the pool and say that I took them on Sunday. There is a method to my madness. What I really want to do is stay home and make some cards.

Yesterday I went over to my SU demonstrator's house and she let me use some of her stamps because I needed to make a Sympathy card for a women in our church. Her MIL died, I don't know here really well but she does so much. I don't think I have ever met her husband, but I can't even think of how I would feel if my mother died! KWIM! I know that I am getting older as people around me are having family members die, I DON'T LIKE THAT!!! Anyway here is the card I made for them.

We finally got Lucy groomed, we had been trying for 3 weeks. The first week, the groomer called at 8 am to tell us she was canceling because she was up all night sick. I can understand that but I had just given Lucy the last sedative that we had! She was pretty stoned and I must say quiet all day long. I wonder if it is bad to give her a sedative every day LOL! The next week we took her to PetCo, because the first groomer never called us back to reschedule like she said she would. I took Lucy in at 11 (when our appointment was) and they said to me, "You were supposed to be here at 10am." I told them, "Well, my appointment card says 11 am." They took her and then called me at 3 pm saying they had been trying to call me all day, because they weren't able to get her out of the cage, so they didn't groom her! URGH! When I went in I noticed they had copied the wrong phone number from the vet paper which showed she had all her shots and told them that it was wrong and gave them my cell to call. All I want is for this dog to be shaved for the summer so she will be cooler! They asked me to come and get her because they close at 3:30, so off I go to get this ungroomed dog! We make an appointment for the following week as an immediate appointment (which costs more money!) so she won't be traumatized by being put in the cage, she is such a prima dona!!! LOL, so here is a before and after pic!

Before

After

Isn't she cute! She looks like a completely different dog! I do think she likes this hairstyle better for the summer. I think she looks NAKED! Dale likes it alot too, he just can't seem to leave Lucy alone! She snips at him when he gets to be to much.

Blog Candy

Artfully Ila is giving away some blog candy from High Hopes Rubber Stamps. She also has an example you can look at and what a great job she has done. I can see me using these alot!!! Go HERE to check them out!!!

Sorry it's been so long!.

Well, I have been on the computer, but I have just been looking at other peoples blogs seeing all their beautiful work. I found an SU demonstrator and she gave me the catalog and she has a club that meet every other month. Now when you come she teaches you a new technique and you are obligated to buy $25 worth of product and each time you meet one of the ladies in the group will be entitled for hostess benefits. So I figured I would give it a shot. I have to say that I wasn't extremely impressed with her cards, they are nothing to fancy, but she was very nice and I like the idea of the hostess benefits.




Although as I have been looking at other blogs I have seen all kinds of stamp companies out there and a lot of them I like. So I don't think I will be strictly SU. I am dying to get some stuff though.





Here's a card I made for a friend of mine that I have just recently seen after 8 years. She and her daughter stayed with us for a couple of months. Then they moved to Florida. She had a hard time, but things have turned around for her. She is now married and lives in South Caroline and 6 months ago had another child. So I thought that this would be nice to send her. This card also was a sketch challenge for Spitcoast Stampers (I tried to link it here but it isn't working) Anywhoo here's my card! SC182

Recipe:

Card stock the base of the card is Bazill and the green squares and the purple card stock is Creative Memories

Patterned Paper is Creative Memories

Image is G Studios.

The base of the card measures 4 1/2 inches, I punched the green squares and the polka dot squares using my creative memories square punches using the 1 1/4 and 1 in punch. I stamped the image 3 times and colored it in using my Copic markers. Hope you enjoy!

New Blogs of Note!

Check out this crafty person she really adds a lot of detail and soft colors in her cards. Oh to be so talented!! Plus she is giving away blog candy, how sweet is that????

Cardmaking

I have found that any free time that I have, I spend it looking at other blogs of people who stamp! I am just dying to get some extra money so I can invest is some of that kind of rubber!!! I have always loved what you can do with stamps. I can't draw and make things look nice in that way, but with stamps there is just so many different ways you can put them together. I did spend a little money a month ago and bought some clear stamps at Wal-Mart, but seeing these blogs......I want MORE!!!! LOL

What got me going again were Copic Markers these things alone are quite expensive, but I bought a few after seeing what you can do with them. They allow you to shade and build layers of color. I did see on one of my wanderings, someone (sorry I don't remember who) who had made flowers out of punches that were really pretty. So since I have used my limited supply of stamps I decided to try my hand with these flowers and markers. I really like the way it came out. I will post a picture later. But here are some of the cards that I have made.

This card I made for Craig for Father's Day, I know it isn't very "fatherly" and I have seen some awesome Father's day cards, but you work with what you get. It was also a challenge "Get Knotty" over at Splitcoast Stampers. It is funny how you start with an image in your head how the card will be, but end up with something totally different. KWIM??

I am thinking that maybe I should start another blog just for my card making, what do you think???

I will post the other card that I have as well as the flowers that I made as soon as I take pictures, now I need to go and make a Birthday Card for Hubby as today is his birthday.

My first card

Here's a close up of the velum

Here is my first card that I have made. I colored the flowers with Copic Pens on vellum. It don't know if vellum is the best to use, but trial and error.

I used Autumn Leaves Clear Stamps and stamped the word love with VersaMark and kind of accented it with a whice pen. Used some pink eyelets that I have had and added a little jewel that the kids used to decorate their cells with for the center of one of the flowers. I have to say I really enjoyed being creative again.

Two more card I made

Well, I kinda like making cards. I get to use up some of my scraps and it is creative! Plus I get to use and learn about stamps which I have always wanted to use but forced myself not to get into them as I had spent so much money one scrapbooking supplies. But I don't think I can hold myself back anymore. Plus, now I have seen these Copic markers and what you can do with them so I am wanting to try and learn how to use them better.

I have had this stamp for years!!! When I got the Copic markers on Friday night I took them to Chucke Cheese (I had already made plans to meet a friend there) and played with them a little. I bought 6 pens and had to improvise on making green (it wasn't a color that I bought) but I don't think I did to bad. I am dying to learn more and practice shading. Here is the other card that I did, I wasn't able to use the Copics on this one but I do like the way it came out.

Slideshow

here we are

I will NOT be a school nurse!

I have to say that the school nurses that I have come in contact with at my girls schools are irritating! I sometimes wonder if they are school nurses because they can't cut it in a hospital. My experience with them has not been a good one. Let me explain.

I can not tell you how many times I have gotten a call from the nurse from either school asking me to come and get one of the girls because they have a temperature of 99.1, now I know I don't have the initial of R.N. after my name but even I know that isn't really considered a fever. But whatever I will go and pick them up, but what really burns me up is when you call me to pick up my child because they are sick but when I get there, 10 min. later, you have already sent them back to class. Now to me they can't be that sick if you are sending them back to class so they can infect all the other kids. Are you feelin' what I'm sayin' here????

Now this same nurse that sent my child back to class, stayed on the phone for 10 min talking to another mother about different churches that they have been to. Now I don't care that she is talking about church, but what I do care about is that it is pouring down rain outside and I have parked where the basses pick the kids up and I am afraid that they will be there before I can get out. After she concludes here personal phone call she proceeds to tell me, if front of two other students that the teachers have voiced some concern over my daughter's hygiene. Now I am just furious! My kid comes to the nurses office and we leave.

About a month later I have a meeting with some of her teachers to talk about how we can best help my child and they bring this same conversation up. I thanked them for reminding me and I told them of the exchange between the nurse and myself. They agreed that she should not have said something in front of other students.

A couple of weeks later I get a call from the school nurse telling me that my daughter has come to school in clothes that are too small for her and she asked if I could bring her a change of clothing. I told her that I could not do that right then and that it would take me a while and asked if there was anything there that she could wear in the mean time. She said yes, but continued to go on and on about the small clothing that she had on. Now mind you, I was embarrassed to begin with. I had caught my daughter a couple of times wearing small clothing and I hadn't yet gone through her drawers. But I was in the middle of my work day and we were seeing a ton of patients and the doctor that I work for is walking around me and I am sure he is going to start yelling at me about being on the phone. So I cut her off and asked her once again if there was something there that she could wear and she said yes. That was on a Thursday. On Friday I pull up in front of the house looking forward to having the next week off and there was a van parked in front of my house. Two women get out of the van and I knew right then where these women were from, DYFUS (Division of Youth and Family Services).

They asked to come in and told me that "someone" had called them with some concerns about the girls. They went on to say that there was some concern as to how they were dressed. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was. I had to sign a release for them to contact the girls doctors and dentist. I soooo wanted to give that school nurse a piece of my mind.

Then today I get a call from the nurse saying Faith has a rash with pustules. Now I know for a fact that Faith doesn't have a rash, she was out in the woods by a lake and what she has are insect bites. The nurse makes me come and pick her up. After I pick Faith up I call the school nurse and tell her that Faith doesn't have a rash and I go on to explain to her how I am somewhat annoyed that I get called for things that turn out to be nothing. I have gotten called for what the nurse tells me is ringworm and when I go to the doctor it is eczema. Not only does it take time from work, but it is 20 bucks a shot every time, not to mention taking the time of the doctor for something that is nothing. But I make an appointment at 4:30 pm. In the mean time the school is trying to call me to tell me to come pick up her bike. They don't want it left there over night, but I don't want to talk to them. Anyway I take her to the doctor and guess what she has????

That's right, insect bites!

I made sure that I got a note, but I so badly want to put "I told you so" on the note and then attach a bill for $20! That is when I decided I would never be a school nurse!

Heart and Miles

Why do some take family for granted? I have lived the majority of my life away from my family. In my teen years I chose to run away for months at a time because I didn't feel like my family understood me or didn't really care. As I have gotten older I realize that I really enjoy being around my family and I want them to know that they are an important part of my life.

Just recently my niece visited New Jersey for her friends wedding and we got to hang out for a couple of hours. Now we had been estranged for about a year and a half over a misunderstanding and it was nice to see her again. I do have to say that it was a little awkward which is a shame since we were so close for so long. We had a special kind of relationship as we both were growing up and as she got older I wanted to help in anyway I could. She has always held a special place in my heart. There have been times that I have cried because we laugh so hard when we are together. I miss that!! Here's a picture of the two of us when she was last out.

Jasmine has a great personality and she is one of the most beautiful people I know. However, I am jealous of her and her mother living so close to my mom and dad and not appreciating that fact. For whatever reason, my sister seems to not want a relationship with my mother and father but it has been them who have helped her so much along the way. I was told that she didn't even want to spend Mother's Day with my mom! That burns me up!!! As I get older, so do my parents and the reality of their mortality hits me more and more and I can't understand why my family in Texas doesn't want to spend more time with their loved ones. I believe there will be many regrets for them.

I know that we, as human beings tend to take for granted those things that are with us all the time, but I feel like I have a different perspective on family then most. I long for that sense of family here and I look for it in those that are in my church, but I have yet to find it. That alone saddens me. I was brought up in the church and the church that I attend now talks of wanting to live out the Acts 2 church, but we don't. Many people here have been born here or grown up here and have family so their need is not as great as mine and it is hard to find people that both Craig and I can be close too. So I keep searching with the hope that one day, I will be close to my family not only in heart but in miles as well.

School is done!!!

Yahooo! I took my last test yesterday and celebrated by going out with Dave and Jackie (she is in my class and a good friend) to Chili's and then to see Made of Honor which was a nice romantic comedy. I haven't been to the movies in a while so it was nice to just get away. During dinner Jackie got a text from another girl in our class with our grades on the test. Now I thought I did pretty well or failed miserably and Jackie thought she did horribly. Well I got a 78 and Jackie got a 74, not the grade I was hoping for but I FINALLY got a higher grade then she did. LOL!!! So Anatomy and Physiology is done!!! Yippee-Ki-Ayyy. Next Microbiology, we will see how that goes. I think I will approach this class differently. (I say that every class and then do the same thing), I need to pre-read the chapter and re-write my notes as soon as I get home. Not worry so much about flash cards but read over my notes every night. I am going to have to do something like that because the teacher I am taking gives a quiz every class. UGHHHH! But never mind that for now, because ...
I AM DONE WITH SCHOOL UNTIL THE FALL

I have to go and get ready, we are going up North to take his mom and sister out for mother's day and birthday. Love not having to cook!!!

A few pictures

Just some pictures I thought I would post.

We were watching "The Waterhorse" and Dale wanted to snuggle with me!

Saturday Craig spent the majority of the day hooking up the surround sound. He had mentioned the other night how the movie would have sounded better with it. It was a long process but it is done! Be careful what you wish for, right!

This one I took today, I have been trying to get a picture of the frog for I don't know how long. Usually they move before I can get the camera, but I think he was nervous and didn't want to draw attention to himself because Lucy was there.

We were in Ocean Grove the other day helping a friend with the music at a retreat for the cadets at Fort Monmouth when I snapped this one! It didn't come out as nice as I would have liked, but the trees were in bloom and the sun was setting so beautifully!

School is almost over again

May 9th is my last day of school, I CAN NOT wait! I had last week off, the girls had their spring break and I have to say I loved, not having to run around like a crazy woman, but I am back to it this week. I have a test today in A&P Lab (my last one) a quiz in lecture and then tomorrow I have to sign a song in ASL. Now I was supposed to be working with this girl Ashley. She asked last week if I would do it with her but she hasn't called or emailed me back so I don't know what to think. I guess I should just learn the whole song just in case.
This is what my kitchen table usually looks like during school. I am applying for a scholarship for next year, I am hoping that I get it. I have to write a little something to go along with the application and it is due on Thursday. So I guess I should get to it.

Blue Skies

The girls are off this week and I have been wanting to paint Sarah's room for some time now. But I hate to paint, and I really hate to paint by myself. So I asked my friend Katinka (who likes to paint) if she would mind coming by and helping me. So between her schedule and mine (I still have classes) we picked yesterday. She came about 8:30 am with all the rollers and trimmers and I had the paint. We painted the walls within a couple of hours and it looks fantastic!! I forgot to get before pictures but here are a couple of after.

The pictures don't do it justice, the color is a little darker then what it looks like in the picture. It's called summer blue and it looks so much better then those old ugly white walls, that weren't white so much any more (LOL). I still have to paint the trim and I also want to do a wide green strip about 3/4 of the way up the wall, just to give it some pizazz! I also want to get her a new comforter and sheets. Faith's room will be next! I don't think she has decided on a color that is okay with me yet. She wants a color called Hot Lips, a very dark pink. I just can't do that!! It is amazing what a little color on the walls will do to a room.

What we did today

So we went to church where I had a hard time concentrating because of what happened on Friday. I will go into that with another post, but we came home Craig worked on the trailer and the girls played with their friend Gabby. After she left we ate dinner and then I started jones-ing for something sweet and had nothing so I decided it would be a good mother daughter thing to make cookies.

We made Peanut butter cookies and oatmeal cookies. YUMMMMM!

ASL Class

I did my ASL Autobiograpy last week, boy it was nerve wracking. Now in two weeks I have to sign a song. I was thinking about just finding one on the internet and using that, but I decided that if I don't do the work I won't learn as much. But I love this song and I love the way it is signed. So I thought I would post it to my blog. The song is Beautiful by Christina Agulara. Enjoy!

Spring

Well spring is here, thank goodness! I have been waiting for the trees and flowers to start blooming and it looks like it is finally here. I have been wanting to take a picture of our little bird house that has been used by only one bird family. That disappoints me, I like seeing the mamma bird fly in there and knowing she is taking care of a family in there. We had gotten this on a trip to Cape Cod with our friends, Niki and Eric a couple of years ago. Even though only one bird family has lived there I still like the way it looks on our tree.

Another thing I like about our house is our backyard. It is pretty big, at least to me it is, and I love the pond that Craig put in about a 8 months after we moved in. He has always wanted a pond in the backyard. He wanted to put one in the house we had in Asbury Park, but the yard wasn't big enough for two kids let alone a pond. Last year we bought 4 small Koi. It was all we could afford HA! But I have to say it is very peaceful and relaxing just to go out there and sit on the bench and watch the fish swim around and hear the sounds of the waterfall. It's not the best picture, but you get the point.

Anticipation

Yesterday I started my bible study with the ladies at Grace. I have been looking forward to this as it has been so long since I have opened my bible, actually I had to find it before I left the house. There's a group of about 17 women who showed up and there are a wide range of ages and family situations. Married forever, married a while, newly married, divorced, single mom's, women going through divorce, a very diverse group of women. It seems to be a good mix. So we watched the intro video and I was surprised at how funny Beth Moore was, and how passionate she was for Christ. On more then one occasion she made me cry, not so much so because of what she was saying but how she was saying it; she had so much passion and I want that. I want to be passionate in my desire for the Lord. Anyway, this study has homework and I have to say never once did I think, "Yeah, just what I need more homework!" I eagerly anticipate meeting God in this study. I have no idea what He's going to do, I know it's going to involve a lot of tears because that's just who I am, but I will wait!

So today's topic was on the identity of family. We are learning about John, the beloved disciple. One of the scripture readings was about the command we are given to

"Impress them (this commandment) on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of you houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:19

I want my children to be grounded in the word of God, but I find myself lacking in this area. And as their principle role model (at least at this age) I am not setting a very good example. I have always believed that God has a hand on them for some work of His, what that is I do not know but look forward to seeing it. But I need to help them grow, I need to be more focused on helping to build good character and to widen their vision. By that I mean not concentrate on what they have or don't have but to see oh so many who have so much less then they do. I know that I sometimes fall short of that. I want the latest and greatest and sometimes I feel that there's not a whole lot that I can do for others. I guess that is where I need to think and pray for something outside of the box. So that is my prayer today.

Lord, I want to see what I can do, not what I can't. Help me to see the possibilities and to close my eyes to the impossible.

Adoption

I know a couple who has adopted a few children. Now this in and of itself is not very perculiar but that they have adopted 4 and have 5 of their own with another on the way, some would say they are strange or fanatical. In the beginning I thought it strange that they would have so many children. But they have such a love and tender heart for children that sometimes they inspire me. I have to say I haven't seen a happier family, with good values who are not only thriving but living life to the fullest. I not only admire them but I envy them in a way.

I have always wanted to adopt! Even before I had kids I always thought that I would adopt at least one child. It just seems like it is the right thing to do. Now I mentioned having another child the other night (I think I feel by biological clock ticking, LOL) and Craig asks how we could afford it, what do I say to that??? What I want to say is we just do, we rely on God to take care of us, like we would the child we would bring into our family. In reading my friends blog I realize there is a whole cyber community of people who's life mission is to save a child from not knowing what it means to me loved and cared for by a family. This community has supported each other in prayer, encouragement, giving emotional support and financially. It is almost like the church in Acts where everything was shared.

So I don't know where I am going with this, but my desire is to help a child, to give a child a family. I want them to know they are loved and desired and a gift. I guess for right now I will have to live vicariously through my friends. For now, but who knows how God will work this out.

I hope she is okay

Criag, Sarah and I were sitting around the dinner table tonight and Sarah was talking about a child in the nursery today (she was helping out). This was a child who had Downs Syndrome and that led to us talking about her Turner's Syndrome. Craig had mentioned how in the scheme of things, Sarah's TS is hardly noticeable. She had questions about some of the characteristics of girls with TS. I had my laptop open so we searched the web and saw some pictures as well as reading a post from a woman who is now 50 years old and found out she had Turners when she was 16 years old.

Sarah left after we read the post. I often wonder what she thinks about when that subject comes up. She seems to be fine with it and that's great, but I hope that she knows that it is okay to not feel not alright. I had a meeting with her teachers last week and one of the guidance counselors were there and said that there was another girl in school who also has TS. She is going to contact the mom and see if she would be alright with talking to me and maybe having the girls meet. I think that would be great! Sometimes I think that Sarah feels very isolated when it comes to that. I am also going to try and get some information in the TS Society here in NJ. I think it will be beneficial to Sarah now that she is a little older. I know it sounds kind of selfish, but I think I have put this off because it will be just another thing that I have to do. But I guess it is something I have to do...... for Sarah. I want her to grow up to be well adjusted and feeling okay about herself, its something I don't think that I felt and it led me to all sorts of bad places.

True Love

My mom called me a couple of weeks ago and told me that my Great Aunt Opal Ruth died. Now, even though this wasn't a complete shocker, I was deeply saddened. She was a great woman and role model. She was always so pleasant and nice and always had a smile on her face whenever I saw her. She left behind a daughter, Renee, a grandson, Tim and a great grand-daughter Heather, and a husband of many, many years Fritz. I have to say that out of all of these people in her immediate family I am most saddened for Fritz. Never have I seen two people love each other more. It was so plain that there wasn't anyone else they would rather be with then each other. I admire that and only wish that my marriage was like that although I haven't seen that in to many marriages.

Florida Vacation

Well we flew into Fort Myers, Florida yesterday on Jet Blue Airlines and I have to say that I was pretty impressed. I have never used them before. We got to Uncle Bruce and John's place, which is gorgeous (I have pictures that I will post later) and then went out for dinner at the Japanese grill place called Shogun, Julio was our chef (which I find quite funny). It was delicious and the girls seem to enjoy it and Sarah even tried something new, shrimp. She liked it, of course anything that may cost a little more.

However today she didn't seem like herself. She woke up and had something to eat then jumped in the pool and got out real quick and said she had an ear ache. She ended up taking a two hour nap with Craig. After she got up she was still kind of lethargic but we thought that it was because she didn't eat anything. So we went to go grab a bite to eat and that didn't perk her up either. She felt a little warm so I went to the store and got her some Tylenol. Came back to the house and took her temperature, 100.3. Wouldn't you know it! So now I am not sure what we will do about Disney world. Hopefully she will feel better tomorrow, but if she doesn't I think we will take her to the doctor. I sure would hate to have to cancel that, but what can you do.

The weather here has been great, it's in the 80's and I must say that it is strange to see people in bathing suits in March! Tomorrow I think we will go to the beach for a little bit. I have always wanted to see the Gulf of Mexico, I hear the water is just beautiful. My camera has been giving me fits, I don't know what is wrong with it, but I am taking pictures when I can now that I have it back. I will write more later.

Got my digital camera back

I was recently talking to my dad and he mentioned that my blog had gotten kind of boring without any new pictures. Somehow I have lost my charger for digital camera and I just assumed that it would turn up somewhere. In the past when I couldn't find my camera I COULD find my charger and vice versa.

So a week ago I went and ordered my camera from Radio Shack. $65 and a week later I am back in business. I got it yesterday just in time for Faith's "Lip Sync" performance at her school. I wasn't able to take any pictures of her routine, but I did manage to snap on with her and her girlfriend Francesca who she performed with. They lip synced and danced to Miley Cyrus's "Girls Night Out"

I straightened Faith's hair and put make up on her, can you tell? LOL She is growing up so fast. She has already asked me if I could do her make up for school. She must be crazy if she think she is wearing make up at 10 years old! The performance started at 7 pm and we didn't get out of there until 9:30 pm and they hadn't done the Finale when we left. I was starving as the rest of my clan was, but Faith was torn about going to grab a bite or staying for the Finale. She really wanted to do both, but Craig and I were tired and there is only so much screaming and loud music I can stand. (That made me sound old didn't it?)

Anyway since I have my digital back, I will be taking more pictures. Speaking of which here is one of me and my man.

New Beginnings

Alright so last week I went to the doctor to get a Rx to help me stop smoking and walked away with blood pressure medication. I had to go back yesterday to get my blood pressure re-checked and I walked out of there with a months supply of blood pressure medication and Chantix to help me stop this nasty habit of smoking. I am happy! Although my insurance company didn't pay for it so $135 dollars had to come out of our pockets. Hopefully, I will kick the habit within one month and I won't have to pay another $135.



I know my dad will be happy with this news! I ordered another charger for my digital camera. That thing cost $65! I know the other charger is around here somewhere, I just can't find it. Hopefully I will keep track of this one. So soon I will be able to add pictures to my blog once again.



Things seem to be going pretty good lately. My gf, Jackie and I are trying to encourage each other in our goals. She came over to study yesterday and we went for a walk with the dogs. We also had a "weigh in" UGHHHHH, I never thought I would say this but I like the doctor's office scale better then the one at home. LOL! Jackie is bipolar (old post) and struggles at this point in getting up in the morning and getting around. She doesn't like it but finds herself continuing to do it. She knows that it would be best for her to get up in the am, so I am calling her and bugging her in the mornings to get a move on. She on the other hand is encouraging me to get off my fat ass and exercise. We are actually helping each other with that one too. But she is a great friend and love her and thank God that he brought her into my life.

So here is to new beginnings of good habits!

Why is it we hurt the ones we love?

I wrote this a while ago, but I thought it still fitting.

Why is it that we hurt the one we love? Is he aware how his words wound me? Does he ever feel sorry for the things that are said? Do I hurt him with what I say? I try very hard to measure my words; to watch what comes out of my mouth. I don't want to lash out with my tongue like a whip on bare flesh. I am tired of him making me dislike myself. I think I am a pretty good person. I am caring and funny, kind, loving; I also know that I am lazy, sloppy. I am not blind to my faults. But sometimes he makes me doubt myself. After the same argument, I snapped and said "Boy it must suck to live with me" and he said "Pretty much". OUCH! I know it was said in anger, but it hurt none the less and sometimes I wonder. I wonder if he truly wants to be here and if he does then, why can't he just take me like I am.

We are a busy family. He's working 50 hour weeks 60 if you include travel time. I am working part time, going to school part time, helping kids with homework (he is being more active in helping in this area since I had a mini melt down), cooking at least 3 times a week, et al. I just don't think he realizes that after all of that, I may not want to sweep or put my clean laundry away. I understand that he is a neat nick, but I am not! And apparently it drives him crazy!!!!

Bad news = Depression

Well, I went to the doctor today to get a perscription to help me stop smoking. After examining me he tells me that my blood pressure is dangerously high and I have to take blood pressure medication. How's that for a kick in the pants!? Not only that but he can't give the perscription to help me stop smoking untill my blood pressure is under control. So now I have to go and get a echo cardiogram, blood work, a mammogram and I am extemely depressed. The upshot to that is the medicine that he is going to give me for smoking has had great results!!! So hopefully when I go and see him next week this medication for my blood pressure will be working and he can give me the perscription to help me stop smoking. He said if I quit smoking it should help to bring my blood pressure down too, as well as loosing weight. Another positive is that I weigh less then I thought I did. So off to the gym I go tomorrow. He took a chest x-ray, I have to say I was holding my breath for that one (literally), all I could imagine him saying was that he saw some sort of mass on my lungs, that would have made my day. But that the Lord above that he didn't say anything of the sort. So Wednesday morning I will be going to the lab to get my blood work done. I already know what that is going to say, my cholesterol is going to be high and I hope that all that it will be.

This is probably the reason why I didn't go see him for 3 years. He told me I am a stroke waiting to happen. I wanted to tell him, "Tell me how it is doc, don't sugar coat anything." (with extreme sarcasm).

On another note, I got a 94 on my first A&P Exam! Yahoooooo!!! This Wednesday is the Lab Test. Have to name all the veins and arteries in the body. Bloody hell there's a lot of them. LOL. My girlfriend and I are going to the open lab tonight to study somemore on that although I have to say that at this point that is the last thing I want to do right now.

I came home today and told Craig he said aren't you glad you went to the doctor, and I said nooooooo. Ignorance is bliss, is my motto. I am sure I knew all of this before I went and it is probably the reason I have put it off for so long. I know that it is good for me to know and take control of the situation. But I have tried loosing weight before and haven't been very successful at it, what if I fail again? We will see how it goes.

Broken and Bruised

Does he know what his words do to me? He must not know what it does, how they play over and over in my head. Not all the time, but at times like these. Does he know how painful those are to relive? I don't understand why? Does he know what it is like to get rejected over and over and over again? How much courage it takes for me to return once again and get still be rebuffed? How can he possibly think that it is okay to say those things. I don't care if they are true, but I just got done telling you that I needed to feel wanted and then you go and make me feel even worse then I already do.

It is amazing to me how you can sleep. More so, that after I leave in tears you have the where with all to get out of bed and close the door to make sure that you are not disturbed when I come home with our daughter. Do you not care that I am hurting. That the tears continue to fall, do you not care that my heart is sore and battered...that my soul is heavy with sorrow? Do I matter to you at all???????

You say you love me, but do you love me like a husband should love his wife? Or am I just a companion that you are fond of? Am I comfortable for you like an old lumpy chair? Why must your words hurt so much?! Sometimes I feel like I am beating my head against a wall. Always the same arguements, always I must change. I am tired of it, I am tired of being the one to pour out myself completetly and be asked for more. I am so tired of not feeling good enough

Happy Valentines Day

Well, it is Valentine's day! A day to celebrate the people you love. I know that Valentine's day was founded on a pagan holiday. But I do like the idea that there is a day set aside just to celebrate the ones you love. I was fretting about what I was going to do for Craig for V-day. I was listening to the radio and they were trying to give ideas, but ideas without spending a whole lot of money. One girl called in and said that her and her boyfriend/husband made eachother thier gifts. One of the radio hosts talked aboout getting a box of kiddie valentines and on each one putting a reson why they loved their girlfriend on each one and then placeing them around the house. He said that for the next year she was finding them. So actually I think I am going to do that!

I hope everyone will have a good day!

Back to School

Well I can tell that I am back in school. It seems like I tend to post less frequently. School is going good. So far my ASL class is the one I like best. Anatomy & Physiology is the same as last semester. At least I am taking it with a friend and we are able to study together. I am not quite sure if I am going to take Micro, during the summer or if I am going to take it in the Fall. Jackie is taking it during the summer and then starting the clinical in the fall. I still need to get my CNA. I was thinking about doing that in the summer if they have it.

Other than that nothing much is happening here. I am getting a little tired of school. It just seems to be taking so much time to get there.

New Classes

Well, I have have both of my new classes. A&P II is just like I expected. You know the same type of thing just new information. Jackie, my girlfriend who is taking the class with me was all freaked out about our Lecture teacher. She was afraid she wasn't going to be able to understand her. The only problem I have with the teacher is I think she speaks to softly. I also has my ASL last night. It is Thursday nights at 7 PM to 9:45 PM. I hate being out that late. I as going to try at get into a class on Wed mornings but I kinda like this teacher. That is half the battle.

The ASL class is more learning about the colture. We have to write a 4 page paper. Which I say surprises me. But I think it will be interesting. He said something last night that surprises me. He told us that in different regions of the country some signs are different, its like they have developed a different dialect. I thought that was so strange. I figured it would all need to be standard, but just like we have slang in the speaking world, I guess the same could be said about the deaf world.

Again I am the oldest one in my class, but the people in this class seem like they will be a fun group. Lots of people for education in this class. So I might just end up staying. That's about it!!!

I don't have a lot of debt

I have only one credit card, but I want to pay it off and not have to worry about it. Craig saves money so easily, but saving money has always been hard for me to do. When I want something, I want it now. It’s not like I am spending like crazy, but I am not a real patient person. And this credit card has become a bone of contention in my marriage. He wants to know the balance and I won’t tell him because I don’t want to hear him bitch.

Paying it off would be the best thing.

See more progress on: pay off my credit card

I have signed up for an ASL class

The sign language class starts on Thursday. I am excited about taking the class but it is from 7 pm to 9:45 pm. This is usually the time where my brain goes dead! But I have always wanted to learn ASL and think that it will help in my nursing career. So I bite the bullet for 15 weeks.

I think I will teach the girls as well.

See more progress on: learn sign language

Why is it so hard?

I know it is bad for you and I have tried many times, but why can’t I kick the habbit? I think I should call the doctor and see what he can do for me. I just want to be around for my kids. I don’t want to die of cancer if I can help it.

See more progress on: Quit Smoking

Marriage

Craig and I had a talk yesterday, it didn't start off real well, but in the end I think it was good! He called me in the morning while I was at work. I was on the phone with a patient and my cell phone rings twice, one right after the other. He finally calls on the private line asking for me. I get on the phone and he starts asking about some entries in the check book that I put. I tell him what they are and he starts yelling at me that it's not explained in there. I asked him if we could talk about this later, but he says no. Now I just get angry. I tell him that I refuse to talk to him about this right now, that I am at work and I will call him back later, but that I am hanging up. He didn't like that too much but said bye and hung up.

I don't like it when he does stuff like that and he has done it before. I am sitting there fuming, so I get up, go outside and call him on my cell phone. I told him that what he did was not cool. He comes back with "Well I'm not a cool person" Anyway, we start to talk and it comes out through all of this that he doesn't trust me, he thinks I am leaving when I get my RN. We started to talk then, but I was at work. I asked if we could continue the conversation when I came home.

We did talk, and it saddens me that he feels like I will leave. I know that I thought about that in the past, but I really want my marriage to work. But for it to work we have work at it. I asked him yesterday if I never changed, if I was the same messy, overweight, lazy person for the rest of my life, would he be able to love me just for who I am. He never said yes or no, just kind of avoided the question. Now I could read into that what I wanted to. I could say that he doesn't love me, and maybe he is just waiting for me to get my RN so I can support myself and the girls before he leaves me, I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like he expects me to change but doesn't feel like he needs to change at all. I told him last night that when ever we talk and I say something he always has some way to negate what I just said, it makes me feel like that he thinks no matter what I am ALWAYS wrong. That's a hard way to live.

I did tell him that I would like for US to go to Texas, and that I thought life would be better for US there, eaiser. But if we never go then we never go. It is important for me for him to see that it isn't all about my mom and dad. I want what is best for my family and if that means staying in Jersey, then I am willing to do that. I think he is comming to realize that. We will see.

Where I Work

My girlfriend Dana brought in her digital camera the other day and I took a couple of pictures of my desk at work to share. Now I schedule the surgeries with the hospital for the doctor that I work for; I also call the insurance companies find out if any type of precert is needed for the surgery and all of that. Things can get kind of hectic and messy. That's just me! But here's where I work.



Here's another one.

Just catching up a little

School will be starting back up for me next week. I have to say that I have enjoyed my time off and I am not really looking forward to going back. It just seems like I have been doing this forever and I won't ever get done. But I will keep plugging away at it. Who cares if I am 40 and just got my RN!

Sarah's Birthday was the other day, she got the new iPod Nano from us and my mom and dad. She loves it!! She walks around the house or wherever we are with it on and singing and dancing. Faith had a meltdown when Sarah opened it! We had to send Faith to the other room where she continued to cry only louder. She said through her sobs, "I know I'm not going to get one now since Sarah got one, because the cost to much money." It was just so disapointing to me how much she carried on. All the while I had planned on getting her one for her birthday which is in 3 weeks. She will be happy, but I just wish that Faith could be happy for Sarah instead of making it all about her.

After a year and 4 months we talked

After a year and something like 4 months my neice and I have finally talked. I couldn't believe it when she IM'd me the other night. We chit chatted for a while on the computer and talked about what is going on in our lives. She is in Texas and had a new job that she loves. She told me about possibly going to England to visit a "friend" with the possiblity of moving there if things go well.

I have to say that not talking to her for so long was hard for me. She was not only my niece but my friend. We shared everything, I love her and was deeply hurt when she stopped talking to me. I asked her why she stopped talking to me because I truly had no idea as to why it happend. She told me that she was hurt by my not telling Craig that I was hanging out with her. I didn't do that all the times that I didn't tell him was only because I was tired of hearing all the negative things from him. I did apoligize and she did too.

It will be intersting to see how our relationship will be now. I hope that we can still be close, she makes me laugh and she is family.

Am I a Bad Mother If....

Faith has been complaining about her throat, and Craig took both girls to the doctor on the 19th. Sarah was diagnosed with a sinus infection and they tested Faith for strep, which came back negative. The perscribed antibiotics for Sarah but sent nothiing home with Faith since it was just the beginnings of a cold. Now over Christmas both Craig and I got sick. Thankfully the girls were off the week of Christmas so I got to stay home and recoup.

Yesterday I come home and Faith is complaining that her throat hurts as a single tear slides down her cheek. So I call the doctor and they tell me to come right over. I bring her in and they do another strep test, but it comes back negative again. They don't give her anything for it and send us on our merry way. She did have a slight fever of 100. So when we get home I give her some Motrin and some night time cold medicine.

This morning I have to get up at O'dark thirty because Sarah has a field trip to "the Moon" and she has to be at school at 6:30 am, did I mention that I have no heat in the car??? It was freakin cold, 15 degrees this morning. Anyway, I come home take Faith's tempreture and it's normal however she is still complaining of her throat hurting. I make her some tea and she refuses to drink it.

I called my boss lastnight just to give her a heads up about the possiblity of me not being there, needless to say she wasn't to happy. She apparently had an intestional virus the day before and she still came into work. I also tried calling a friend who I thought was off of work today but she never called me back. So I am sending Faith to school. Remember she has no fever, just a sore throat, does that make me a bad mother??

I hate feeling like I am choosing my job over my child and right now I kinda feel like that. It is the only day of the week that completely sucks if I take off. We are short handed as it is and they have already paid for the day. I told Faith if she doesn't feel well by 12, to go to the nurses office and call me.

I still feel like doo-doo.